I have two beautiful children. Both a joy to my heart. Like every mother, I have had my share of dealing with their sometimes stubborn nature. When my son was three, he had this nasty habit of sticking his hand inside the VCR. He would stick his hand inside and I would tell him "no" and he would stop, giggle and run off to play.
One day, he decided to make a stand. He walked over, stuck his hand inside the VCR and looked at me, glaringly. I told him "no" in my normal firm voice but this time, no giggle and no running off. He stood his ground. I walked over and said "no" again this time gently smacking his hand. He did not remove his hand. He did not make eye contact. He stood stiff, defiant. I smacked a wee bit harder. Still nothing.
I began smacking his hand and telling him "no" once every minute. Nothing. Stubborn child stood there, hand in VCR. As the minutes clicked on, I began to understand this was one of those moments that would define our relationship. I am single mom and I needed my son to understand that he needed to obey me. I needed him to know that my "no" meant NO and that I had the wherewithal to go the distance and stand my ground.
As you might imagine though I did not strengthen the intensity of smack, his had begun to get red and puffy. Watching this, my heart began to break but I did not relent, knowing that I wasn't hurting him, but I was teaching him. For me as a mother, it really was one of those "it's hurting me more that it is hurting you moments". I did not want to break his will, but I did need it to bend towards mine.
This went on and on for about an hour. I kept my emotions buried. He needed to see me be strong; to know I meant what I said. Finally, he removed his puffy, red hand from the VCR, turned and said, "Mommy, I am sorry". He threw his arms around my neck and cried for the first time. He cried until he wore himself out and then went to his room, lied down and napped. Then I cried. It sucked but from that point forward, he obeyed me without me having to flex much muscle.
God has lead my life into places over the years that I could not have imagined. Places both high and low...He is teaching me. From time to time, I catch myself standing stiff in defiance and not wanting to bend to His will. I have accused Him of not loving and even punishing me. I have threatened Him (HA! as if I have power over anything but myself). But God is a better father than I am a mother. He did not smack although I am sure He watched in amazement as I smacked myself, repeatedly. He did let me live out the consequences to my stubborn choices.
One night in my bed, room dark...I pulled my hand out of the VCR and I told God, "I surrender". I began down the long road of learning to surrender my stubborn will. I was tired, and I wanted to throw my arms around Him, cry and take a nap. Life has a way of wearing us out when we don't let him protect and lead us or tell us "no". We all love to hear "yes", hate hearing "no" and sometimes ignore the "no" all together but I must admit to you, one of my life's greatest gifts was given to me by God answering "no" to my prayer: my sweet baby girl.
When my children were young, they did not know what was best for themselves. They had to learn. I had to teach them. It was my job as their mother. Sometimes, I have had to let them live out the tough consequences of their bad or stubborn choices. We don't always know what's best for ourselves either and like a good parent, God is always willing to teach and direct but of course, we must quit being stubborn.
The Israelites really struggled with their stubborn hearts. How many trips around mountain did they take before they finally pulled their collective heads out of their asses? They wandered in the desert for 40 years before they finally submitted and were allowed to enter the promised land. I have read their story many times and each time thought: how stupid! We are no different. Most of our sin spinning around the same stubborn attitudes; keeping us from spiritual, financial or physical breakthroughs and from real, abiding love.
As a Type-A , Red, High D, Choleric personality, I know that I am completely capable of making my way happen. I can be VERY stubborn. Each time I force my way, it always ends up a hot mess but for a good, long time I tried again and again. I had a plan and life was not living up to my expectations.
After I surrendered, my attitude changed. I swapped my want for His desire. My prayers transformed from selfish do this or that for me prayers into God tell me: where to go, who to be, who to love. My heart of stone was turned to flesh (Ezekiel 36:26). As my prayers changed, so did my heart and mind. I have often wondered why it took me so long to let Him convert my stubbornness into perseverance because the Bible has some pretty great things to say perseverance:
Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13:7
You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.
Hebrews 10:36
Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.
James 1:12
Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.
1 Timothy 4:16
…we glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance. Perseverance produces character. Character produces hope and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
Romans 5:3-6
…you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
James 1:3-4
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