An introduction:

Trying to decide what to say here even though I am not sure anyone but God is reading is just a little bit intimidating. Hence, today... I am going to post twice: first, I will post what I wrote two years ago to be the introduction to a book that I believe God is calling me to write>  It should help you get to know me a bit if you don't already. To be honest, I haven't read it since I wrote it. Second, some thoughts on prayer.  Enjoy.

…introduction

As I sit down to write to you, I must admit that I am a little afraid.  I am in no way an authority on anything.  I am not sure why God is calling me to be vulnerable to you and to Him in this way when my life is a mess.  I am estranged from my sister and her husband.  I have road rage and potty mouth.  I really like tequila.  I can’t find a date.  Last year was just okay in business.  My son is about to graduate from high school and I can’t seem to wrangle him into nailing down a college.  My daughter is engaged and that part is amazing.  I am overweight and am having a hard time getting my butt back into the gym.  I am wary of the future.  I am not feeling yet all what He is asking me to discuss with you.  I don’t have a college degree.  I would freely admit that I have pretty much done everything backwards.

But I am willing.  I am willing to sacrifice my want for His will.  I am willing to lay down my ideas for His truth.  I am willing to hand over my fears for His confidence.  I am willing.  I am seeking and the Bible says in Matthew 6:33 “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

The Message says it like this:  “If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do His best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way He works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how He works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

This, I suppose, is the catalog of my journey of letting go of the fussing and learning to relax so that I can respond to His giving.  I miss so much because I don’t always allow myself to be in the moment.  I enjoy what is happening, yes but I do not receive the full measure of it because I don’t allow myself to relax, to trust that God truly has me.

Just because you can justify a behavior, doesn't make it right. Doubt keeps you from confidently walking the path that God has illuminated as His way for your life. 

Sometimes, the hardest thing God can ask us to do is just be still in our current situation. We want to look at it and say why God did you put me here but the truth is, we put ourselves there. He gave us free will choice and our choices lead us to this moment. We don't like the moment and so we look at Him and fuss and pray. He looks back at us and says be still, be patient. We can't handle that so we start moving again and mess it up even more. We do this over and over again until our molehill is a mountain and we shake out fists towards heaven and say things like I hate you, Lord. He shakes his head and continues to love us and continues to ask us to be still. Only in our stillness does He have room to do His work. We need to get out of His way.

The seeds of rebellion are found in the soul. I think (mind), I want (will), I feel (emotions and/or heart). When Jesus speaks to us about how we must die so that He might live, He's speaking to us about crucifying our souls so that He can control our thoughts, our hearts and our will...in this way, He can open us up to everything He has for us: His thoughts, His heart and His will which are higher than ours. When God uses me to bless another, it's always at my inconvenience.  God's calling doesn't suit man's convenience. – Derek Prince

We let who we think we are get in the way of who You created us to be…