You should have led with that…

My sister recently lost a very close friend, Dilan. Dilan was part of a group of friends who have been tightly knitted since middle school and high school. Honestly, they were a rowdy crew in their youth. Loud, funny, beautiful girls. Dilan and her immediate bestie, Goldie, always stood out from the crowd to me. Both blonde and bubbly but kind and sweet.

Instead of losing touch, as these girls went on to different colleges and universities, got married, had children and lived their adult lives, they purposed to remain close. Each year, these friends take at least one trip together to the Texas coast. It is called, Teenies to Queenies (or maybe it’s the other way round).

Late in the summer or early autumn, these women wrangle up their daughters and head down to the beach for a long weekend of fellowship, love and laughter. Along the way, they sowed their love for each other into their babies. Needless to say, when Dilan passed, they leapt into action to help soothe and care for her children in a way that only lifelong friends can.

Many of their daughters are about the same age. These yearly trips fostered a closeness between them like their mothers before them. The daughters, too, rallied around their lifetime friends. Micah, Goldie’s oldest started sharing the Word of God as a means of comfort to Lennon, Dilan’s eldest. After their conversations, Lennon would often ask the ladies and Micah questions about God, His love and the scriptures. Though her mother was a believer who had taken her to church when she was young, faith in God wasn’t something Lennon had practiced. Lennon began to search through the Word on her own and somehow landed in the book, Revelations.

When next Lennon spoke with Micah, she told her about what she had read in Revelations and asked her if it was true that if she gave her life to Jesus that she would spend eternity with her mother in Heaven. Micah said yes and Lennon said, “girl, you should have led with that!”

Lennon’s proclamation got me thinking about what we should be leading with as we walk out our faith. To those around us, we should reflect God, but have we delved far enough into our faith to really know the attributes and personality of our Creator, His Son or the Spirit? God is LOVE (1 John 4:7) but is it enough to just be LOVE to those around us?

Jesus says in John 16:33, “in this world YOU WILL HAVE TROUBLE”. Trouble is not something we can outrun or should be unexpected but how do you reflect God when you are in trouble? Is His Love still apparent when you are suffering? The entirety of verse 33 says this: “These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have shalom (peace). In the world you will have trouble but take heart! I have overcome the world!”. Jesus spoke these words to His disciples shortly before being arrested which resulted in His crucifixion.

In 2013, I asked God to help me better understand His nature. He put in my spirit that I was get under the authority of a specific pastor which meant, I needed to make a change and leave my church. My family went to church together on Sundays. My church had given me a job after my divorce and the people that surrounded me there had become a second family to me. It was not comfortable to leave behind the familiar for the unknown and it took me a year to finally be obedient, stepping out and away into what God had clearly told me.

Unwittingly, I had asked God to throw me into the fire and refine me. I always joke about praying for patience because the outcome of that prayer is being continually tossed into situations that force you into learning that skill. I steer clear of praying for patience.

Bigger ask. Bigger lesson. I gave much less thought to asking to better understand His nature than I had asking for patience. Looking back now, I mean, what was I thinking?

 I can tell you what I wasn’t thinking:

·       I wasn’t thinking that I was about to learn how to walk through fire with a smile.

·       I wasn’t thinking that I was going to learn to love people that I didn’t even like.

·       I wasn’t thinking I was going to give to people that I thought already had enough.

·       I wasn’t thinking that learning to truly unconditionally love anyone including Him meant I had let go of my identity.

·       I certainly wasn’t thinking that leaning into Him meant I had to become comfortable with leaning into the unknown.

If God would have led with, this is going to suck, I would have never EVER asked the question. I am human after all but maturity in our faith should walk us into asking better questions of Him. No more genie in a bottle asks and a whole lot more how can I be like Jesus asks.

After Lennon learned she could again be with her mother, she asked Jesus into her heart and the fire of LOVE was lit within her. The fire of a new believer always burns so brightly and beautifully. In a wisdom beyond her years or maturity in her faith, Lennon realized and then spoke out loud for all of those that loved her mother to hear, that she asked God why He had allowed her mother’s death and that He answered her, “for your salvation”.

This week, my sister baptized Lennon. She sent us the video so we could watch the culmination how the love of these women, all friends of Dilan and their children, especially, Micah, coupled with the Love of God had answered Dilan’s prayer of salvation for her eldest daughter was now manifested and made whole. I cried as I watched. How could I not? In the darkest moment of my sister’s life, she led with love. God matched that love with His own and the result was this beautiful request of Lennon’s for baptism.

We are all going to have trouble…some we create for ourselves, some created by others and some created just by living in a broken world, but Jesus did not leave alone in this space. He left us with the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit) and the answer, is yes, it is as simple as leading with LOVE.