The concept of loving your neighbor is not just New
Testament theology taught by Jesus but a much older teaching that began with
Moses and the Children of Israel as they made their way out of Egypt and into
the Promised Land.
I used to always tell my Pastor that people suck, and
churches are full of people. He would laugh and remind me that is why God
commanded us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. I would regularly quip back
that I did not love myself and that exempted me from loving crazy people who
never listen or are just plain old meanies but of course, that isn’t true.
I let God via the Holy Spirit take up residency in me the moment
I decided to believe that Jesus is my personal Savior, the Messiah and King of
the Universe. Once that decision is made, it becomes a bit of a contract
between you and your Creator. It requires that you make an concerted effort to
spend the necessary time to create an intimate relationship with Him and in
doing so, become a reflection of Him and He is Love.
So not loving myself or my neighbor…not a real option.
Bob Goff has written many amazing books, but Love Does
is probably still my favorite, followed closely by Everybody Always. Love
Does is a collection of stories that to quote Love Actually (2003
film by Richard Curtis), “If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling
you'll find that love, actually, is all around". Everybody
Always, on the other hand, is about finding a way to love those around you
that are a bit more taxing, time-consuming and generally, as Goff puts it, difficult.
Great reads. Easy reads. I suggest you run out today and buy yourself a copy.
Loving others can be hard on our best days but what does
really happen if you are truly missing part of the equation, and you do not
love yourself? How can you love others if you don’t love yourself? Can you love
others if you don’t love yourself? I would be remiss if I answered anything
other than I don’t think you can.
I look around today and see a world filled with so much more
hate than when I was younger. It seemed to really expand exponentially during
COVID. We don’t seem to have any tolerance for one another anymore. I have
spent quite a lot of time pondering this. Why now? How do we unwind or fix it?
It feels like COVID pushed the fast forward button on general discontent. Too
many hurting people. Too many unhappy people. Too much anxiety. Too much
hopelessness. Too much depression. The list could go on forever but at the very
crux of it all is one underlying truth: there is not enough LOVE to go around.
Social media allows us all to push the heart button but that
doesn't hold the same effect as throwing your arms around someone’s neck. You
can comment below, “love it” but does the word “love” even hold real meaning
anymore or has it become another accolade? We can stack ourselves up against
everyone else 24 hours a day 365 days a year and that my friends does indeed
breed malcontent.
The Bible warns us in the Ten Commandments: “Do not covet
your neighbor’s house, your neighbor’s wife, his manservant, his maidservant,
his ox, his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s.” (Exodus 20:17). Why? Because
when we spend our time coveting (yearn to possess or have) something that doesn’t belong to us, we forget to be thankful
for what we do have and that makes us feel smaller than we actually are. We
live in a world that celebrates beauty, celebrity and money but pays little
attention to who a person is and what they represent or what they are sowing.
Today it is very easy to find yourself feeling empty, alone,
unloved, and insignificant. How are you supposed to love yourself when everyone
around you seems to have more, be smarter or more successful? But it is all
smoke and mirrors. Social media is a great tool when used properly to keep
track of friends and family or promote business but there is growing evidence
that it can be attributed to poorer memory functions, increased impulsivity,
less empathy, and higher levels of anxiety.
We are constantly connected and yet lonelier, which fuels
depression. We are addicted to these minicomputers we call phones, spending way
too much time looking at pictures and text instead of sitting across from each
other at lunch, dinner or game night. It is very difficult to feel loved if you
are never in the actual presence of another person who can hold your hand, hug
your neck or even just look into your eyes.
I am not suggesting you ditch your iPhone for flip phone or
that you log off social media forever. I am suggesting that you put it down
after you call a friend to come over and hang out. I am suggesting during the
time you are hanging out that you leave that phone down for an hour or two or
five. I am suggesting that you go outside without your phone and commune with
God in nature. I am suggesting your break the addiction to your phone, social
media and video games if they manage to keep you from being together with other
living, breathing human being who loves and appreciates the person God created
you to be.
If we do not find a way to break loose from the chains that
bind us, we will never be free. Satan is not omnipresent like God, and he needs
tools to keep us unhappily ever after. What tool is present in your life that keeps
you locked away from loving yourself? God is the ONLY author of life, and He doesn’t
make mistakes. If you are here, it is because He made you to be here, right now.
He did not do that because you suck. He did that because you are beautiful. I
know the struggle to recognize this about yourself is real and daily but as my
friend Denise once advised me, you’ve got to put on those rose-colored glasses
you wear when you look at everybody else, take a good hard look at yourself in
the mirror and ask God to see what He sees. And yes, you will most likely cry
and fight the truth of what He reveals to you. And yes, you will probably have
to ask Him to remind you A LOT but how will we ever be able to love anyone else
if we never see anything worthy in ourselves.
It is much easier to love than to judge, criticize and hate.
Plus! It is better for your face and heart! Give yourself time think about good
things: whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is
pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any virtue and if
there is anything worthy of praise—dwell on these things (Philippians 4:8). It
is my encouragement for you and for me that we dwell on good things but not
just good things generally…good things about us.
Write down five things you like about yourself. I love my
curly hair. I like my nose. I like and love my family. I love working in the
collector car industry. I love being a grandmother. I love writing because for
me, it is a time of worshipping the One who made me.
Pray about the things you don’t like but no longer dwell or
think about them too much. NO MORE OBESSESSING! Practice loving everyone
because your neighbor is everyone you encounter even that weirdo always saying
crazy stuff on your social or the idiot that cut you off in traffic this morning.
Instead of shooting that guy the finger, say I forgive asshat (#snort). I said
“practice”!
Don’t be so hard on yourself all the time. There just isn’t any
need for it. He doesn’t do it and you shouldn’t either. You are His child, and
He loves you. He loves you SO MUCH, He sent Jesus to die on the cross for you. Jesus
is your ride or die bestie. They have good plans for you, plans for shalom (peace)
and not calamity—to give you a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11). Stuart
Smalley it up: "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it,
people like me" but Jesus-style with more LOVE.
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You are not to take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against
the children of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself.[a] I am Adonai. (Leviticus 19:18)
And you shall love Adonai your God with all your
heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your
strength. The second is this, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There
is no other commandment greater than these. (Mark 12:30-31)
Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Torah?
And He said to him, You shall love Adonai your God with
all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the
first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it, You shall love your
neighbor as yourself. The entire Torah and the Prophets
hang on these two commandments. (Matthew 22:36-40)
