You ain't NEVER had a friend like me.

Over the past 3 weeks, I have been in a time of fasting and prayer. I decided since I was focusing on God, it would also be a good time to hop over the theater and see Season 5 of The Chosen series which got me thinking maybe too much about Judas.

In turn all this thinking about Judas had me pondering the prevalent nature of just general belief that somehow Jesus and or God is some how just a genie in a bottle, here at our disposal and pleasure…instead of the other way around. We are all guilty of THAT prayer. You know the one: God, if you will just do this for me then I will do that for you. It’s as if we believe there is some kind of magic prayer equation. We have a tit for tat mentality.

When my son was a toddler, he swallowed most of a bottle of prenatal vitamins. When I called poison control, I quickly found out to my surprise that prenatal vitamins are one of the top overdosing substances for young children and that I need to get my son to the hospital immediately. The staff wasted no time once we arrived at the emergency room. No waiting on paperwork. Just straight back to triage. They asked me if I could hold my son down or if they needed to place him in a straitjacket while they pumped his stomach. I elected to hold him myself hoping that it would somehow be less traumatic.

I laid my body across his and spoke softly into his ear, describing what was going to happen. I assured him as his Momma that I had him. I promised everything was going to be okay if we let the doctors do what they needed to make him better. He stayed remarkably calm though tears out of his bright blue eyes and across his beautiful little face. I watched as the green coating of the vitamins came up through the tube. After the procedure, the doctor said in a hushed voice as Keller was still in my arms and almost sleeping that they were not able to recover the pills from his stomach. The next step would be an x-ray to see more clearly what they were dealing with, but I need to understand that if as many pills as expected were in his stomach, he would not make 24 hours.

Finally asleep, I asked a nurse to stay by Keller’s side for just a moment so that I could walk to the waiting room and update my mother. As I walked the corridor, I started to bargain with God, but a reminder of sermon preached by John Hagee just a few weeks previously came flooding into my mind and stopped that prayer and replaced it with praise. Instead, I spoke to my Abba as His child and told Him that I loved Him. I thanked Him for my sweet, funny, toe-headed, chubby cheeked, Momma’s boy. I let Him know that if 3 years was all the time I had with Keller, I knew He could make that enough and that I would not become bitter.

My mother had Pastor Hagee on the phone asking him to prayer when I entered the waiting room. She handed me the phone and Pastor Hagee told me that when he was a child, he swallowed rat poison. His mother prayed a prayer of thanksgiving but demanded the life of her child be saved because she KNEW God had great plans for his life. Pastor Hagee then prayed similarly with me, and I listened as tears fell and snot ran. A peace came over me as I handed the phone back to my Mom, hugged her and began to walk back to my son.

The nurse woke him to take him to x-ray as soon as I entered the doorway. I had to wait outside, of course, but the nurse went in with him. A few minutes later, she burst through the door laughing and crying herself. She folded me up in a hug and screamed, there are no pills in his stomach! NONE! Not one! We all saw the coating, so we know he swallowed them but your son, he has been healed. I am gobsmacked as the doctor walks calmly my direction. He takes my hand and says, young lady, do you believe in Jesus. I shook my head yes and he continued, well then, you need to praise Him because tonight He for the second time gave your son life. He gave me a quick hug and walked away.

The nurse took Keller and I back to the treatment room. We had to wait another few hours before he could be released as was the protocol for overdoses. I called my mother sprang the good news and told her to get her butt back here and hug her grandbaby.

I know mothers who were not granted the mercy of their sons surviving their accidents. Some have indeed recovered, and others continue to grow in bitterness. A few angry mothers have shared with me that they too prayed that prayer asking God to bargain but their prayer went unanswered and now they blame God, but God is not a genie in a bottle waiting to grant our wishes and desires no matter how noble.

I believe Judas was frustrated with Jesus. Though not explicitly called a zealot in scripture, I think Judas was looking for Jesus to be the conquering messiah of Daniel instead of the Lamb of God of Isaiah sent as a sacrifice for our sins. He wasn’t the only one feeling this way, of that we can be sure as the Jews were captive to Rome and oppressed. We, like the Jews of first century Israel, all just want to be free…don’t we? No one enjoys oppression. Rules are one thing, and most are good and for our protection, generally but persecution, suppression and subjugation are something else altogether. I do not know a single person who wants to be punished simply for being themselves or made to be slaves because someone dominated them (could be at work or in marriage).

Jesus told His disciples that He was here to fulfill the law and to bring salvation:

Matthew 5:17: Do not think that I came to abolish the Torah or the Prophets! I did not come to abolish, but to fulfill.

Luke 19:10: For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.

John 3:16-17: For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through Him.

Judas was a friend of Jesus. They had an intimate relationship. Closer than family. He walked with him daily. Spoke with him daily. Slept where he slept. Heard every sermon. Saw every sign. He believed Jesus WAS Messiah. And yet, for a few months’ wages, Judas betrayed Jesus with a kiss. Why?

Judas was not the first to betray God. There was another even before time began, Hêlêl ben Šāḥar otherwise known as Lucifer to you and me. Isaiah 14:12-15 and Ezekiel 28:12-18 describe his fall from Heavan like this:

How you have fallen from heaven, O brighstar, son of the dawn! How you are cut down to the earth, you who made the nations prostrate! You said in your heart: “I will ascend to heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God. I will sit upon the mount of meeting, in the uttermost parts of the north. I will ascend above the high places of the clouds—I will make myself like Elyon.” Yet you will be brought down to Sheol, to the lowest parts of the Pit.

You were the seal of perfection, full of wisdom and perfect in beauty. You were in Eden, the garden of God. Every precious stone was your covering—ruby, topaz and diamond, beryl, onyx and jasper, sapphire, turquoise and emerald—your settings and your sockets a workmanship of gold—in the day you were created they were prepared. You were an anointed guardian cheruv (cherubim). I placed you on the holy mountain of God. You walked among stones of fire. You were perfect in your ways from the day that you were created, until unrighteousness was found in you. By the abundance of your trade they filled you within with violence. So you have sinned. So I threw you out as a profane thing from the mountain of God. I made you vanish, guardian cheruv, from among the stones of fire.

Your heart was exalted because of your beauty. You corrupted your wisdom because of your splendor. I threw you down to the earth. Before kings I set you up as a spectacle. By the multitude of your iniquities, in the injustice of your trade, you profaned your sanctuaries. So I brought fire out from within you, and it has consumed you. I have turned you to ashes on the earth in the eyes of all who saw you.

Pride is clearly evident in the scripture above and we all know it goes before the fall. Oxford defines pride as a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired. Secondarily it is further described as consciousness of one's own dignity. The Bible says pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall (Proverbs 16:18) and goes on to tell us in James 4:6 God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.

So perhaps what we see in Judas is a proud Jew, excited to be in the core group near the Messiah and ushering in a new golden age of the reestablish Kingdoms of Israel and Judah by overthrowing Rome. From his advantage, he was at the epicenter of it all with the Mashiach or King Messiah as his bestie. Hard not to be proud if you weren’t closely listening to who Jesus was meant to be at that time per the will of His Father. So when who Jesus is was not aligning with what Judas wanted Him to be most people and theologians alike agree that he became disillusioned with the situation and decided to try to jump start the process by forcing His hand and making Him show Himself as King. It could also be that Judas fully understood who Jesus was and just decided to reject Him and in some sort of retaliatory act turned Him over to Caisphas. No one truly knows what was in Judas’ heart when he decided to betray Jesus but the decision to do so did not sit well with him in the end. Matthew 27 says in verse 3 that Judas felt remorse, knew he had betrayed someone who was innocent of any wrongdoing and tried to return the money. Judas never gave himself the chance to be forgiven and verse 5 tells us he committed suicide by hanging.

We all sin. So, what is the difference between Lucifer and Judas versus David or you or me? A contrite heart. Psalm 51:19 says a broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.  If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness (I John 1:19). God said King David was a man after His own heart (1 Samuel 12:14 and Acts 13:22) because when his sin was pointed out to him, David was always contrite and repentant.

I was telling a friend this week who said she did not particularly like the story of Jesus because it was hard…that for whatever reason, we struggle with the gift of God’s Love and our salvation through Jesus. We wanted it to be harder and so we make up stupid rules, exclude people from it and then act like spoiled children when things don’t go our way. Truth is loving God with all your heart, soul, mind and spirit plus loving your neighbor as yourself isn’t an easy thing to do but accepting Jesus as Messiah and Savior is. It is just yes and thank you.

50 years of faith has taught me that Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit are not and never will be a genie in a bottle, but they will always be present. They have good plans for me even though they never tell me what the heck is really going on or do anything the way I think it should be done. They love me unconditionally and they never fail. If they make a promise they keep it. So in the end, you ain’t never had a friend like me is more attributable to the Trinity than the Genie in Aladdin.

Love Thy Neighbor

 

The concept of loving your neighbor is not just New Testament theology taught by Jesus but a much older teaching that began with Moses and the Children of Israel as they made their way out of Egypt and into the Promised Land.

I used to always tell my Pastor that people suck, and churches are full of people. He would laugh and remind me that is why God commanded us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. I would regularly quip back that I did not love myself and that exempted me from loving crazy people who never listen or are just plain old meanies but of course, that isn’t true.

I let God via the Holy Spirit take up residency in me the moment I decided to believe that Jesus is my personal Savior, the Messiah and King of the Universe. Once that decision is made, it becomes a bit of a contract between you and your Creator. It requires that you make an concerted effort to spend the necessary time to create an intimate relationship with Him and in doing so, become a reflection of Him and He is Love.

So not loving myself or my neighbor…not a real option.

Bob Goff has written many amazing books, but Love Does is probably still my favorite, followed closely by Everybody Always. Love Does is a collection of stories that to quote Love Actually (2003 film by Richard Curtis), “If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love, actually, is all around". Everybody Always, on the other hand, is about finding a way to love those around you that are a bit more taxing, time-consuming and generally, as Goff puts it, difficult. Great reads. Easy reads. I suggest you run out today and buy yourself a copy.

Loving others can be hard on our best days but what does really happen if you are truly missing part of the equation, and you do not love yourself? How can you love others if you don’t love yourself? Can you love others if you don’t love yourself? I would be remiss if I answered anything other than I don’t think you can.

I look around today and see a world filled with so much more hate than when I was younger. It seemed to really expand exponentially during COVID. We don’t seem to have any tolerance for one another anymore. I have spent quite a lot of time pondering this. Why now? How do we unwind or fix it? It feels like COVID pushed the fast forward button on general discontent. Too many hurting people. Too many unhappy people. Too much anxiety. Too much hopelessness. Too much depression. The list could go on forever but at the very crux of it all is one underlying truth: there is not enough LOVE to go around.

Social media allows us all to push the heart button but that doesn't hold the same effect as throwing your arms around someone’s neck. You can comment below, “love it” but does the word “love” even hold real meaning anymore or has it become another accolade? We can stack ourselves up against everyone else 24 hours a day 365 days a year and that my friends does indeed breed malcontent.

The Bible warns us in the Ten Commandments: “Do not covet your neighbor’s house, your neighbor’s wife, his manservant, his maidservant, his ox, his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s.” (Exodus 20:17). Why? Because when we spend our time coveting (yearn to possess or have) something that doesn’t belong to us, we forget to be thankful for what we do have and that makes us feel smaller than we actually are. We live in a world that celebrates beauty, celebrity and money but pays little attention to who a person is and what they represent or what they are sowing.

Today it is very easy to find yourself feeling empty, alone, unloved, and insignificant. How are you supposed to love yourself when everyone around you seems to have more, be smarter or more successful? But it is all smoke and mirrors. Social media is a great tool when used properly to keep track of friends and family or promote business but there is growing evidence that it can be attributed to poorer memory functions, increased impulsivity, less empathy, and higher levels of anxiety.

We are constantly connected and yet lonelier, which fuels depression. We are addicted to these minicomputers we call phones, spending way too much time looking at pictures and text instead of sitting across from each other at lunch, dinner or game night. It is very difficult to feel loved if you are never in the actual presence of another person who can hold your hand, hug your neck or even just look into your eyes.

I am not suggesting you ditch your iPhone for flip phone or that you log off social media forever. I am suggesting that you put it down after you call a friend to come over and hang out. I am suggesting during the time you are hanging out that you leave that phone down for an hour or two or five. I am suggesting that you go outside without your phone and commune with God in nature. I am suggesting your break the addiction to your phone, social media and video games if they manage to keep you from being together with other living, breathing human being who loves and appreciates the person God created you to be.

If we do not find a way to break loose from the chains that bind us, we will never be free. Satan is not omnipresent like God, and he needs tools to keep us unhappily ever after. What tool is present in your life that keeps you locked away from loving yourself? God is the ONLY author of life, and He doesn’t make mistakes. If you are here, it is because He made you to be here, right now. He did not do that because you suck. He did that because you are beautiful. I know the struggle to recognize this about yourself is real and daily but as my friend Denise once advised me, you’ve got to put on those rose-colored glasses you wear when you look at everybody else, take a good hard look at yourself in the mirror and ask God to see what He sees. And yes, you will most likely cry and fight the truth of what He reveals to you. And yes, you will probably have to ask Him to remind you A LOT but how will we ever be able to love anyone else if we never see anything worthy in ourselves.

It is much easier to love than to judge, criticize and hate. Plus! It is better for your face and heart! Give yourself time think about good things: whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any virtue and if there is anything worthy of praise—dwell on these things (Philippians 4:8). It is my encouragement for you and for me that we dwell on good things but not just good things generally…good things about us.

Write down five things you like about yourself. I love my curly hair. I like my nose. I like and love my family. I love working in the collector car industry. I love being a grandmother. I love writing because for me, it is a time of worshipping the One who made me.

Pray about the things you don’t like but no longer dwell or think about them too much. NO MORE OBESSESSING! Practice loving everyone because your neighbor is everyone you encounter even that weirdo always saying crazy stuff on your social or the idiot that cut you off in traffic this morning. Instead of shooting that guy the finger, say I forgive asshat (#snort). I said “practice”!

Don’t be so hard on yourself all the time. There just isn’t any need for it. He doesn’t do it and you shouldn’t either. You are His child, and He loves you. He loves you SO MUCH, He sent Jesus to die on the cross for you. Jesus is your ride or die bestie. They have good plans for you, plans for shalom (peace) and not calamity—to give you a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11). Stuart Smalley it up: "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me" but Jesus-style with more LOVE.

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You are not to take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the children of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself.^[a] I am Adonai. (Leviticus 19:18)

And you shall love Adonai your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is this, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these. (Mark 12:30-31)

Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Torah?  And He said to him, You shall love Adonai your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. The entire Torah and the Prophets hang on these two commandments. (Matthew 22:36-40)