Sabbatical…a period of paid leave granted to a teacher or other worker for study or travel, traditionally one year for every seven years worked.

I have struggled with what was supposed to come next after traumatizing events in my life, most recently the loss of my pastor and friend, Warren Beemer. Just months before God called him Home, our church split in an extremely dramatic fashion. Those of us left behind were hurting though hopeful when suddenly our most loving and faithful leader lost his life suddenly in a car accident. I am really and truly great in a crisis and so I and others, did what people do and surrounded his family with comfort and whatever else they needed all the while trying to console one another.

In the aftermath, I was feeling very alone…again. I could not fathom the idea of replacing my pastor. I did not have a church (I will come back to this). So much hurt and disappointment were left the wake of such a loss, it was hard to wrap your head around.

I had an auction looming and my kids had just moved back from Salt Lake to San Antonio. I had stuff to do so I stuff my feelings down and just did my best to take one step at a time ever forward. As I moved through time, I convinced myself I was doing a pretty good job of “moving on” that is until some trigger would send me into an absolute almost uncontrollable fit of tears. I kept telling myself that I didn’t have the time nor the right to mourn the way I was feeling I needed to somewhere deep inside. I accepted the message of World War 2 Britain of Keep Calm and Carry On as my personal motto.

Now it is 2025 and the third anniversary of Warren’s death is looming like a black cloud, but I am quite sure I see LIGHT.

During what I have now come to see as a sabbatical forced upon me by my Creator, Savior, and Spirit, I underwent a transformation of thought but perhaps it is better subscribed as theology. In Isaiah 11:2 (Tree of Life Version), there is a description of Jesus that also describes the Holy Spirit as: The Ruach of Adonai will rest upon Him, the Spirit of wisdom and insight, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and of the fear of Adonai.

The Holy Spirit is described as Comforter in John 14:26. The Amplified Version expounds on this a bit and further describes it as Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, Standby. In Hebrew, it is referred to as Ruach HaKodesh or Divine Spirit. In Greek, the name is Pneuma Hagion or Scared Breath. The Spirit brings evidence of It’s presence (Galatians 5:22-23): love (charity), joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness (meekness) and self-control (temperance). I have also heard the Holy Spirit referred to as our Ezer Kenegdo or Helpmeet which is the name used to describe Eve in relationship to Adam. In the most basic understanding of the word, it means Companion (because it wasn’t good for man to be alone).

It is easy for me to travel down a rabbit hole when researching the meanings and origins of words; so, let me back to say this: IF we belong to The King of the Universe, we are never alone no matter how alone we might feel. God sent The Ruach of Adonai to be here on Earth with us after the ascension. The presence of God (again) roams the Earth looking for whom belongs to Him and He brings with him wisdom, insight, counsel, strength, knowledge, and a renewed wonderment of God, the Creator and Father. Once more, when He is allowed to find His place within us, He sprouts the visible evidence of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

I had to rediscover that I was not alone and in doing so found that church is not nor has ever been a building but rather (not unlike Jesus and his twelve) a group of people to which you hold yourself accountable and furthermore, allow to speak into your life. Like a pastor, these people are given authority by you to sow into your heart, soul, body, mind and spirit so you better damn well trust them.

And with my use of the word, damn, you might well imagine that I have come to no longer subscribe to what religion says I can or should do but instead hold myself up against what the Bible says…nothing more or less. No where in the Bible does it say damn is a word that cannot be spoken. It is a Christian belief grown out of the fear of judgement and condemnation but the Bible clearly states: God hasn’t given us the spirit of fear but of power, love, and sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). This is where you envision me sticking out my tongue with a smile on my face and a twinkle in my eye.

When I say religion, I mean anything “man” made up and describes as the rules for the “Church” outside of scripture. Faith and religion no matter what the dictionary says are no longer the same concept. Faith is about having a relationship with God. Religion is all the crap man thinks he needs to work his way into Heaven. Jesus came to fulfill the rules of the Old Testament hence giving us freedom from the fear of them. He ushered instead the Law of Love in the following, found in Matthew 22:37-40: "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

On this surface, this seems easier than all the rules and expectations to which our Hebrew brothers and sister are subject but in reality…it is much harder to break the habit of me. I am important. What I want is necessary. My needs should come first. Me. Me. ME. Putting God before all things in your heart, soul and mind is a mountainous request let alone loving your neighbor as ME. Yikes!

The first step in breaking this habit is to commit yourself to reflecting God. We have discussed the Bible is exceedingly clear that God is LOVE and if you do not know LOVE, you do not KNOW God (I John 4:8). God and Love therefore are interchangeable most definitely when studying I Corinthians 13 which describes the nature of Love. Love is not just one part of who God is but rather all of Him. It is the very essence of Him. God is patient. He is kind. He does not envy or boast (brag). God is not proud. God does not keep record of wrong doings. God does not delight in evil. God rejoices in truth. God always protects. God always trusts. God always hopes. God always preserves. God NEVER fails. This is a daunting task, and we will all fail it one way or another but the mere decision to work at being His reflection to your neighbor each and every day will transform you albeit painfully at the onset.

As you reform your life into one committed to walking out Love, you will easily find yourself bending to His will for your life and hence loving Him with your heart, mind, and soul. I am not gonna lie, this is an EXCRUCIATING revolution to normal day to day American life but well worth the work. You know what the answer is to all the hate in this world is? LOVE. You never have to preach one word of the Bible or ask anyone if they are saved. All you must do is be a reflection of LOVE. Bringing us back to the whole “love your neighbor as yourself thing.”

You know what does not come after that passage of scripture? ZERO description of what that neighbor looks like or identifies as. No mention of which pollical party they vote for or what color their skin might be. No identifying your neighbor by sexual preference or smell for that matter (#snort). Nowhere did I read only love those that think, look and act exactly like you or the people at church for that matter. It simply says LOVE them. Love your neighbor no matter who it is and let God worry about who gets judged and who does not. THAT thankfully is not our problem. We only need to discover and give away freely: LOVE.

There is a song on the album, The Preacher’s Wife (Whitney Houston and Denzil Washington movie) called Somebody Bigger Than You and I. Here are the lyrics (Songwriters: Sonny Burke / Hy Heath / Johnny Lange):

Somebody bigger than the Earth is round
Bigger than the saddest frown
Bigger than the brightest smile
And longer than the longest mile

Somebody bigger than the biggest fight
And darker than the darkest night
Bigger than the biggest gun
Cause he's the only shining sun cmon

Who made the mountains
Who made the trees
Who made the rivers that flow out to the seas
And who hung the moon in the starry, starry, starry sky

Somebody bigger (somebody bigger)
I know I know he's bigger than you and I
My God is bigger
Somebody bigger
He's bigger, he's bigger than you
He's bigger than you
My God is, my God is oh

Now who made the flowers bloom in the spring, yeah
And who writes the songs for the robins to sing uh
And who sends the rain when the Earth is dry
I know, I know, I know
Somebody bigger yeah
Than you and I
Somebody bigger than you and I
Bigger than you and I

He lights the way when road is alone
Keeps me company with love to guide you
He walks beside you just like he walks with me

When I am weary, and filled with despair
Who gives me courage to go on and on and on from there
And who gives me faith
I will never, never, never, never, never doubt
Somebody bigger yeah
Somebody bigger than me and you
Bigger than you and I
Somebody bigger
My Lord is bigger than you
Bigger than you and I

He lights the way when the road is long
Keeps you company with love to guide you
He walks beside you just like he walks with me

Somebody bigger than you and I
Bigger than the open sky
Bigger than the tallest tree
Bigger than the deepest sea
Somebody deeper than the desert sands
Bigger than the tallest man
And phatter than the phattest phat
Bigger than the Shaq attack

Lastly, you need to decide your God is BIGGER. Bigger than American plastic Jesus on a shelf (shout out to Jennie Allen). Bigger than all the world’s problems. Bigger than your political party or the US government. Bigger than your worries, mistakes, or sin. Bigger than any environmental issues. Bigger than your or anyone else’s understanding of Him. I would rather error on the side of God is TOO BIG than God is too small. I would encourage you now to open your mind and heart, take off the blinders of religion, shake off any man-made rules and regulations you’ve been subjected to and reread your Bible. There is some pretty crazy stuff inside. One might even speculate it is revolutionary. The Bible does not say what someone else told you it says, it says what it says but you actually have to crack it open for yourself and let the Living Word speak to you, directly and personally to know better.

Back to sabbatical. In Leviticus 25, the Bible mandates a sabbatical year every seven years. It is a time of rest and forgiveness of debts. A time of relying on God and His provision. It is a reset and renewal. A giant sigh. God built this into our week through Sabbath. Do not work. Just rest. Be with Me and your family. He rested after Creation. He is not asking you to do anything He did not. Furthermore, Jesus is rest for the weary and burdened. I do not know anyone who isn’t a bit weary or burdened, do you? It is not about what you do or do not have anymore. This world we live in is stressful, plain and simple. We can wreck our minds with worry if we choose too or we can choose rest, renewal, reset. Fatigue is not good for anyone. It does harmful stuff to your body and your mind. Yucky stuff.

If we do not rest or manage properly what is happening on the inside and we belong to Him, you just might find yourself like me on a forced sabbatical. He never FAILS and if are due for a reset then you can be sure He will make a way where there seems to be none. My mind is a runner. I have found peace in a traditional Jewish prayer repeated often on The Chosen streaming series: "Blessed are you, LORD our God, King of the universe, who forms light and creates darkness, who makes peace and creates all things".

A big shout out to Pastor Dane Kruse of County Line Church is Auburn, Indiana for reminding me the Bible has a prescription for mourning in the form of sitting shiva (Book of Job). I have not done it yet but at least it is now on my radar.