Love Thy Neighbor

 

The concept of loving your neighbor is not just New Testament theology taught by Jesus but a much older teaching that began with Moses and the Children of Israel as they made their way out of Egypt and into the Promised Land.

I used to always tell my Pastor that people suck, and churches are full of people. He would laugh and remind me that is why God commanded us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. I would regularly quip back that I did not love myself and that exempted me from loving crazy people who never listen or are just plain old meanies but of course, that isn’t true.

I let God via the Holy Spirit take up residency in me the moment I decided to believe that Jesus is my personal Savior, the Messiah and King of the Universe. Once that decision is made, it becomes a bit of a contract between you and your Creator. It requires that you make an concerted effort to spend the necessary time to create an intimate relationship with Him and in doing so, become a reflection of Him and He is Love.

So not loving myself or my neighbor…not a real option.

Bob Goff has written many amazing books, but Love Does is probably still my favorite, followed closely by Everybody Always. Love Does is a collection of stories that to quote Love Actually (2003 film by Richard Curtis), “If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love, actually, is all around". Everybody Always, on the other hand, is about finding a way to love those around you that are a bit more taxing, time-consuming and generally, as Goff puts it, difficult. Great reads. Easy reads. I suggest you run out today and buy yourself a copy.

Loving others can be hard on our best days but what does really happen if you are truly missing part of the equation, and you do not love yourself? How can you love others if you don’t love yourself? Can you love others if you don’t love yourself? I would be remiss if I answered anything other than I don’t think you can.

I look around today and see a world filled with so much more hate than when I was younger. It seemed to really expand exponentially during COVID. We don’t seem to have any tolerance for one another anymore. I have spent quite a lot of time pondering this. Why now? How do we unwind or fix it? It feels like COVID pushed the fast forward button on general discontent. Too many hurting people. Too many unhappy people. Too much anxiety. Too much hopelessness. Too much depression. The list could go on forever but at the very crux of it all is one underlying truth: there is not enough LOVE to go around.

Social media allows us all to push the heart button but that doesn't hold the same effect as throwing your arms around someone’s neck. You can comment below, “love it” but does the word “love” even hold real meaning anymore or has it become another accolade? We can stack ourselves up against everyone else 24 hours a day 365 days a year and that my friends does indeed breed malcontent.

The Bible warns us in the Ten Commandments: “Do not covet your neighbor’s house, your neighbor’s wife, his manservant, his maidservant, his ox, his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s.” (Exodus 20:17). Why? Because when we spend our time coveting (yearn to possess or have) something that doesn’t belong to us, we forget to be thankful for what we do have and that makes us feel smaller than we actually are. We live in a world that celebrates beauty, celebrity and money but pays little attention to who a person is and what they represent or what they are sowing.

Today it is very easy to find yourself feeling empty, alone, unloved, and insignificant. How are you supposed to love yourself when everyone around you seems to have more, be smarter or more successful? But it is all smoke and mirrors. Social media is a great tool when used properly to keep track of friends and family or promote business but there is growing evidence that it can be attributed to poorer memory functions, increased impulsivity, less empathy, and higher levels of anxiety.

We are constantly connected and yet lonelier, which fuels depression. We are addicted to these minicomputers we call phones, spending way too much time looking at pictures and text instead of sitting across from each other at lunch, dinner or game night. It is very difficult to feel loved if you are never in the actual presence of another person who can hold your hand, hug your neck or even just look into your eyes.

I am not suggesting you ditch your iPhone for flip phone or that you log off social media forever. I am suggesting that you put it down after you call a friend to come over and hang out. I am suggesting during the time you are hanging out that you leave that phone down for an hour or two or five. I am suggesting that you go outside without your phone and commune with God in nature. I am suggesting your break the addiction to your phone, social media and video games if they manage to keep you from being together with other living, breathing human being who loves and appreciates the person God created you to be.

If we do not find a way to break loose from the chains that bind us, we will never be free. Satan is not omnipresent like God, and he needs tools to keep us unhappily ever after. What tool is present in your life that keeps you locked away from loving yourself? God is the ONLY author of life, and He doesn’t make mistakes. If you are here, it is because He made you to be here, right now. He did not do that because you suck. He did that because you are beautiful. I know the struggle to recognize this about yourself is real and daily but as my friend Denise once advised me, you’ve got to put on those rose-colored glasses you wear when you look at everybody else, take a good hard look at yourself in the mirror and ask God to see what He sees. And yes, you will most likely cry and fight the truth of what He reveals to you. And yes, you will probably have to ask Him to remind you A LOT but how will we ever be able to love anyone else if we never see anything worthy in ourselves.

It is much easier to love than to judge, criticize and hate. Plus! It is better for your face and heart! Give yourself time think about good things: whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any virtue and if there is anything worthy of praise—dwell on these things (Philippians 4:8). It is my encouragement for you and for me that we dwell on good things but not just good things generally…good things about us.

Write down five things you like about yourself. I love my curly hair. I like my nose. I like and love my family. I love working in the collector car industry. I love being a grandmother. I love writing because for me, it is a time of worshipping the One who made me.

Pray about the things you don’t like but no longer dwell or think about them too much. NO MORE OBESSESSING! Practice loving everyone because your neighbor is everyone you encounter even that weirdo always saying crazy stuff on your social or the idiot that cut you off in traffic this morning. Instead of shooting that guy the finger, say I forgive asshat (#snort). I said “practice”!

Don’t be so hard on yourself all the time. There just isn’t any need for it. He doesn’t do it and you shouldn’t either. You are His child, and He loves you. He loves you SO MUCH, He sent Jesus to die on the cross for you. Jesus is your ride or die bestie. They have good plans for you, plans for shalom (peace) and not calamity—to give you a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11). Stuart Smalley it up: "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me" but Jesus-style with more LOVE.

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You are not to take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the children of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself.^[a] I am Adonai. (Leviticus 19:18)

And you shall love Adonai your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is this, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these. (Mark 12:30-31)

Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Torah?  And He said to him, You shall love Adonai your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. The entire Torah and the Prophets hang on these two commandments. (Matthew 22:36-40)

 

Sabbatical…a period of paid leave granted to a teacher or other worker for study or travel, traditionally one year for every seven years worked.

I have struggled with what was supposed to come next after traumatizing events in my life, most recently the loss of my pastor and friend, Warren Beemer. Just months before God called him Home, our church split in an extremely dramatic fashion. Those of us left behind were hurting though hopeful when suddenly our most loving and faithful leader lost his life suddenly in a car accident. I am really and truly great in a crisis and so I and others, did what people do and surrounded his family with comfort and whatever else they needed all the while trying to console one another.

In the aftermath, I was feeling very alone…again. I could not fathom the idea of replacing my pastor. I did not have a church (I will come back to this). So much hurt and disappointment were left the wake of such a loss, it was hard to wrap your head around.

I had an auction looming and my kids had just moved back from Salt Lake to San Antonio. I had stuff to do so I stuff my feelings down and just did my best to take one step at a time ever forward. As I moved through time, I convinced myself I was doing a pretty good job of “moving on” that is until some trigger would send me into an absolute almost uncontrollable fit of tears. I kept telling myself that I didn’t have the time nor the right to mourn the way I was feeling I needed to somewhere deep inside. I accepted the message of World War 2 Britain of Keep Calm and Carry On as my personal motto.

Now it is 2025 and the third anniversary of Warren’s death is looming like a black cloud, but I am quite sure I see LIGHT.

During what I have now come to see as a sabbatical forced upon me by my Creator, Savior, and Spirit, I underwent a transformation of thought but perhaps it is better subscribed as theology. In Isaiah 11:2 (Tree of Life Version), there is a description of Jesus that also describes the Holy Spirit as: The Ruach of Adonai will rest upon Him, the Spirit of wisdom and insight, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and of the fear of Adonai.

The Holy Spirit is described as Comforter in John 14:26. The Amplified Version expounds on this a bit and further describes it as Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, Standby. In Hebrew, it is referred to as Ruach HaKodesh or Divine Spirit. In Greek, the name is Pneuma Hagion or Scared Breath. The Spirit brings evidence of It’s presence (Galatians 5:22-23): love (charity), joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness (meekness) and self-control (temperance). I have also heard the Holy Spirit referred to as our Ezer Kenegdo or Helpmeet which is the name used to describe Eve in relationship to Adam. In the most basic understanding of the word, it means Companion (because it wasn’t good for man to be alone).

It is easy for me to travel down a rabbit hole when researching the meanings and origins of words; so, let me back to say this: IF we belong to The King of the Universe, we are never alone no matter how alone we might feel. God sent The Ruach of Adonai to be here on Earth with us after the ascension. The presence of God (again) roams the Earth looking for whom belongs to Him and He brings with him wisdom, insight, counsel, strength, knowledge, and a renewed wonderment of God, the Creator and Father. Once more, when He is allowed to find His place within us, He sprouts the visible evidence of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

I had to rediscover that I was not alone and in doing so found that church is not nor has ever been a building but rather (not unlike Jesus and his twelve) a group of people to which you hold yourself accountable and furthermore, allow to speak into your life. Like a pastor, these people are given authority by you to sow into your heart, soul, body, mind and spirit so you better damn well trust them.

And with my use of the word, damn, you might well imagine that I have come to no longer subscribe to what religion says I can or should do but instead hold myself up against what the Bible says…nothing more or less. No where in the Bible does it say damn is a word that cannot be spoken. It is a Christian belief grown out of the fear of judgement and condemnation but the Bible clearly states: God hasn’t given us the spirit of fear but of power, love, and sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). This is where you envision me sticking out my tongue with a smile on my face and a twinkle in my eye.

When I say religion, I mean anything “man” made up and describes as the rules for the “Church” outside of scripture. Faith and religion no matter what the dictionary says are no longer the same concept. Faith is about having a relationship with God. Religion is all the crap man thinks he needs to work his way into Heaven. Jesus came to fulfill the rules of the Old Testament hence giving us freedom from the fear of them. He ushered instead the Law of Love in the following, found in Matthew 22:37-40: "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

On this surface, this seems easier than all the rules and expectations to which our Hebrew brothers and sister are subject but in reality…it is much harder to break the habit of me. I am important. What I want is necessary. My needs should come first. Me. Me. ME. Putting God before all things in your heart, soul and mind is a mountainous request let alone loving your neighbor as ME. Yikes!

The first step in breaking this habit is to commit yourself to reflecting God. We have discussed the Bible is exceedingly clear that God is LOVE and if you do not know LOVE, you do not KNOW God (I John 4:8). God and Love therefore are interchangeable most definitely when studying I Corinthians 13 which describes the nature of Love. Love is not just one part of who God is but rather all of Him. It is the very essence of Him. God is patient. He is kind. He does not envy or boast (brag). God is not proud. God does not keep record of wrong doings. God does not delight in evil. God rejoices in truth. God always protects. God always trusts. God always hopes. God always preserves. God NEVER fails. This is a daunting task, and we will all fail it one way or another but the mere decision to work at being His reflection to your neighbor each and every day will transform you albeit painfully at the onset.

As you reform your life into one committed to walking out Love, you will easily find yourself bending to His will for your life and hence loving Him with your heart, mind, and soul. I am not gonna lie, this is an EXCRUCIATING revolution to normal day to day American life but well worth the work. You know what the answer is to all the hate in this world is? LOVE. You never have to preach one word of the Bible or ask anyone if they are saved. All you must do is be a reflection of LOVE. Bringing us back to the whole “love your neighbor as yourself thing.”

You know what does not come after that passage of scripture? ZERO description of what that neighbor looks like or identifies as. No mention of which pollical party they vote for or what color their skin might be. No identifying your neighbor by sexual preference or smell for that matter (#snort). Nowhere did I read only love those that think, look and act exactly like you or the people at church for that matter. It simply says LOVE them. Love your neighbor no matter who it is and let God worry about who gets judged and who does not. THAT thankfully is not our problem. We only need to discover and give away freely: LOVE.

There is a song on the album, The Preacher’s Wife (Whitney Houston and Denzil Washington movie) called Somebody Bigger Than You and I. Here are the lyrics (Songwriters: Sonny Burke / Hy Heath / Johnny Lange):

Somebody bigger than the Earth is round
Bigger than the saddest frown
Bigger than the brightest smile
And longer than the longest mile

Somebody bigger than the biggest fight
And darker than the darkest night
Bigger than the biggest gun
Cause he's the only shining sun cmon

Who made the mountains
Who made the trees
Who made the rivers that flow out to the seas
And who hung the moon in the starry, starry, starry sky

Somebody bigger (somebody bigger)
I know I know he's bigger than you and I
My God is bigger
Somebody bigger
He's bigger, he's bigger than you
He's bigger than you
My God is, my God is oh

Now who made the flowers bloom in the spring, yeah
And who writes the songs for the robins to sing uh
And who sends the rain when the Earth is dry
I know, I know, I know
Somebody bigger yeah
Than you and I
Somebody bigger than you and I
Bigger than you and I

He lights the way when road is alone
Keeps me company with love to guide you
He walks beside you just like he walks with me

When I am weary, and filled with despair
Who gives me courage to go on and on and on from there
And who gives me faith
I will never, never, never, never, never doubt
Somebody bigger yeah
Somebody bigger than me and you
Bigger than you and I
Somebody bigger
My Lord is bigger than you
Bigger than you and I

He lights the way when the road is long
Keeps you company with love to guide you
He walks beside you just like he walks with me

Somebody bigger than you and I
Bigger than the open sky
Bigger than the tallest tree
Bigger than the deepest sea
Somebody deeper than the desert sands
Bigger than the tallest man
And phatter than the phattest phat
Bigger than the Shaq attack

Lastly, you need to decide your God is BIGGER. Bigger than American plastic Jesus on a shelf (shout out to Jennie Allen). Bigger than all the world’s problems. Bigger than your political party or the US government. Bigger than your worries, mistakes, or sin. Bigger than any environmental issues. Bigger than your or anyone else’s understanding of Him. I would rather error on the side of God is TOO BIG than God is too small. I would encourage you now to open your mind and heart, take off the blinders of religion, shake off any man-made rules and regulations you’ve been subjected to and reread your Bible. There is some pretty crazy stuff inside. One might even speculate it is revolutionary. The Bible does not say what someone else told you it says, it says what it says but you actually have to crack it open for yourself and let the Living Word speak to you, directly and personally to know better.

Back to sabbatical. In Leviticus 25, the Bible mandates a sabbatical year every seven years. It is a time of rest and forgiveness of debts. A time of relying on God and His provision. It is a reset and renewal. A giant sigh. God built this into our week through Sabbath. Do not work. Just rest. Be with Me and your family. He rested after Creation. He is not asking you to do anything He did not. Furthermore, Jesus is rest for the weary and burdened. I do not know anyone who isn’t a bit weary or burdened, do you? It is not about what you do or do not have anymore. This world we live in is stressful, plain and simple. We can wreck our minds with worry if we choose too or we can choose rest, renewal, reset. Fatigue is not good for anyone. It does harmful stuff to your body and your mind. Yucky stuff.

If we do not rest or manage properly what is happening on the inside and we belong to Him, you just might find yourself like me on a forced sabbatical. He never FAILS and if are due for a reset then you can be sure He will make a way where there seems to be none. My mind is a runner. I have found peace in a traditional Jewish prayer repeated often on The Chosen streaming series: "Blessed are you, LORD our God, King of the universe, who forms light and creates darkness, who makes peace and creates all things".

A big shout out to Pastor Dane Kruse of County Line Church is Auburn, Indiana for reminding me the Bible has a prescription for mourning in the form of sitting shiva (Book of Job). I have not done it yet but at least it is now on my radar.